Words can’t even express how much I miss you . My best friend , my comfort , my baby💔 I loved you so much . I will hold you in my heart forever .
Hey , its been a while
so far I have had the worst couple of months, I don’t talk to very much people about my personal life , So just kind of stick with me here..
I don’t get close to people too easily, (not because I don’t like them), but because I’m afraid of getting close to people who are going to be temporary. I am bad when it comes to my emotions , I don’t know how to react when it comes to certain things , a few months ago my Great grandfather passed away. It has been hard. a few weeks ago the guy I had been dating and known for a few years had just recently passed away also. I really liked him.
My dog passed away and finally I just lost it . I had an emotional break down . I have tried to stay sane but it’s just hard when I’m losing the people who I care about the most , and on top of that , I’m constantly trying to prove myself to people ,trying to make things in my life sound interesting when it’s all just a whirl wind of depression , my car breaking down on me, me fighting depression and trying to deal with my ADHD and insomnia. I am just at this point where I just want to pay my bills and try to save money.
I just get so tired , tired of trying too hard and trying to be perfect. I miss my dog . I have cried every day this week , I have been doing this thing where I smell his blanket before I leave for the day and I just hold it until I have to leave, right now Thor’s blanket is the only thing getting me through the day , like I feel hope and warmth and I feel like I am going to be okay . I have never missed someone so much . He was my comfort and now he’s gone. I am trying to slowly move on ,trying to focus on work it’s just hard cause he’s all that I can think about . I’m trying to debate whether to post this or not, because people might think I am losing my sanity or going insane . I’m tires go i am going to go .. i have work early and its barbie themed (i don’t even know how the F to dress like a damn barbie ) goodnight .
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